I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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