did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
