I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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