"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
