So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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