It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
