I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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