so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
