Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
