dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We need to get me chipped asap
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
