You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
