I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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