I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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