I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
