the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
