Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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