I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
