he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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