Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
