i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
