this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why is there bacon in the couch?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
