Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
