Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize