I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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