yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
