If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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