She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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