After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
