i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
