talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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