I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think your dad took our porno
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
