I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
