She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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