He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
