Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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