shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
