i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't turn off my feet"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
