yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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