she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize