im drinking this country out of the recession.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
