I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
