can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
