My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
