oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
