i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Randomize
