My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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