hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
