Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize