so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
