Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i have two assholes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
