I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
