you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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