17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't deserve a penis
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
