hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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