So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
