Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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