Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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