you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
