1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
